


Unconditional

by artreactor



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Implied abuse, M/M, Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships, decapitation mention, jake coming to terms with the reality of romance, this isn't really dirkjake to be honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5033197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artreactor/pseuds/artreactor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>drabble- Dirk is cinematic but your love has never been a cinematography.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unconditional

**Author's Note:**

> Please note the warnings in the tag. This has no plot it was just me trying to get back into the swing of writing something.

Sometimes you think you might have never loved him. 

You thought you knew a lot about love, feelings, romance and all that malarkey. You are no stranger to cheesy rom-coms and nineties chick flicks. You'd never admit that it's a much loved genre of yours; you're a man (surely, definitely, maybe) and admitting to liking such things would definitely be a blow to one's masculinity (or so you've been informed). You'd never admit that you cried at the end of Ghost with Patrick Swazey or that you have a Titanic poster behind your wardrobe. 

Everything you've ever learned about love has been from under your duvet, lit up by your laptop screen, watching other people. Perhaps that's where you made your first mistake. Much of what you've learned about Dirk has been obtained through the same measures, intently analysing the words on your screen, waiting for something to drop and then pretending you didn't see it when it did. 

You always thought there was something cinematic about him. Dirk, who could tear hunks of homicidal metal apart with ease and a sword. Dirk, whose hair was always perfect despite no one ever seeing it through anything other than a gritty webcam filter. Dirk, who could always make the thinnest of insults and the harshest of punches feel like romantic overtures. 

Dirk loved you and to consider if you truly felt the same didn't seem to be important to you. You can't think of a romance movie where affections weren't won eventually and surely it was just a matter of time before something clicked in your head and all these things you knew were romantic would suddenly mean something to you other than discomfort. 

But it never happened. Dirk didn't kiss you and profess his love while the volcano was still erupting and you had yet to swallow his blood. He never swept you out of danger and off your feet in the midst of battle. He didn't kiss you when it ended and it wasn't until he didn't that you considered you might want him to and then considered how, if he did, you might not. 

Sometimes, though, you think you did love him and that you still do. 

Nothing you know about love relates to Dirk any more though. With love, you overcome all obstacles. You fight for it, even if it means fighting each other. You never thought love in films was easy but even if there isn't a happy ending, it always ends in love. 

It doesn't matter if he leaves or if she cries or if they fight or if they vow to never speak to each other again. As long as it's only an hour in, he's safe. An hour is a climax, not a resolution. 

You do not know how 865 days translates into this but maybe this is the resolution. 

You think the problem might be how true love is; unwavering, impossible and most certainly without strings attached. If someone leaves in a movie, they almost certainly come back and if they don't then it wasn't meant to be. It should hardly matter what pushed them to leave to begin with because nothing should be so tough as to keep you away from someone you love. 

You're certain that's your problem. Perhaps you do love Dirk. Perhaps you've loved him from the moment his pesterchum friend request came in six years ago. Perhaps you've only loved him from the moment you noticed he loved you. Perhaps you've only merely loved him from the moment you decided on your eventuality together; your inevitability. 

Dirk is cinematic but your love has never been a cinematography and your love always came with strings attached. Simple strings that an actor may allow to be broken and you allowed to be for a long time. But eventually, when all the strings are broken, there is no movie set, no kissing in the rain and no happy ever after. There's no tying them back together.

Your love for him could never be unconditional and it takes a while for you to realise that unconditional was what he wanted. 

And that says it all.


End file.
